The So-Called 'History Channel'

THE HISTORY CHANNEL

A while ago I read a comment by a concerned viewer on the History Channel website that began, “Where is the ‘history’ in the History Channel?” I have wondered about this for some time. I used to be a huge fan of the History Channel, even when it was known informally as the “Hitler Channel”, due to all the WWII documentaries they aired. And as fascinated as I am with WWII, even I had to admit that some of the documentaries the History Channel aired on this subject were a bit fatuous: “Hitler’s Children”, “Hitler and the Occult”, “Would Hitler Have ‘Done Vegas’?” and so forth.

But wow! Has the History Channel departed from its ostensible mission statement! Whereas before you could count the number of documentaries on the channel which were of dubious historical value (or had nothing whatsoever to do with “history”), now you can count those that are of genuine historical value. A glance at a TV guide or program for the History Channel will validate this in an instant. For instance, among the programs airing these days on the History Channel are:

Modern Marvels. The very name of this program suggests it is not about history. And the word “disaster” appears in almost every Modern Marvel program title.

The Works. This program is about garbage disposal and following New York City’s garbage to its final destination in a landfill. Perhaps there should be a Garbage Channel? I never knew there was a demand for this kind of programming.

Ice Road Truckers. Now here we have history in all its scholarly glory. This is of course a program detailing the perils these “extreme” truck drivers experience traversing the arctic tundra in the depths of winter. I can see the programming value in this, because some of these stories are bound to be pretty hairy / interesting; but what is it doing on the History Channel?

America Eats. This program is about the history of chocolate, and would be more appropriate for the Food Channel; but yes, I agree- even chocolate has a ‘history’.

Monster Quest. This program is about the search for mutant animals and mythical creatures. Today’s offering? “Super Rats”; a program where experts report that mutant rats are getting bigger and more dangerous and have appetites for just about anything- including human flesh: the “Rat Channel”, maybe?

Ax Men. This is a program about logging. No history here.

UFO Files. This program is about UFOs. Here the program directors don’t even bother to try and work “The History of…” into the title.

Everything has a history. You could make a documentary about the history of: hardware, radial tires, power lines, cotton candy, thong underwear, hypodermic needles, bee hives, pie tins, shopping carts, key rings, paint…the list is endless. And you can be sure; the people in charge of programming at the History Channel might just stoop to air it. As absurd as this may seem, I have seen some of these titles in History Channel guides, impelling me to check to be sure I had the right channel.

I am beginning to wonder if the people in charge of programming at the History Channel scour the market for cheap documentaries about anything, then slap on “The History of” to the original title and presto! They have a program they can air. To be fair, the History Channel does offer programs that are about history- and not just about WWII and Hitler; though many of these tend to be somewhat histrionic reenactments featuring 3rd rate players. I just wish they would air more “intelligent” programming and cut the more ridiculous ones.

Given the treasure trove of documentary material “out there” I would like to see more programs on Vietnam, WWI, the Korean War, the Great Depression, the Napoleonic Wars, the Renaissance and the Reformation. Documentaries about countries and cultures that have suddenly become mainstream news: Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, China, India, Brazil would be relevant. They could also focus on the history or major technology, such as the internet, microprocessors, and the “Space Race”.

One of the best documentaries I have ever seen is called “The Prize”, based on the Pulitzer Prize award winning book by Daniel Yergin of the same name. It is a sweeping history of the oil business from the days before John D. Rockefeller through Gulf War 1. It is dazzling- the scholarship that went into researching and producing the series, the photography, the music and the narration are all 1st class. Yet for some strange reason this documentary series is not available on DVD today and The Prize on VHS tapes sells for hundreds of dollars on Amazon and eBay.

Why couldn't the History Channel look into getting programming like this? I do not pretend to understand the mysteries of Nielsen ratings, but I rather suspect that the History Channel is now “dumbing down” their programming to appeal to the “slack-jawed troglodytes” out there (to borrow the phrase from the Simpson’s Monty Burns) to keep their advertisers happy. Programs featuring endless car chases, big explosions, acts of random violence and sex have far more mob appeal than programs that offer real historical information and analysis.

Picture the seething throng disgorged from the Coliseum in ancient Rome after a particularly sanguinary afternoon of sport; 2,000 years may separate us from them, but all it takes is a car crash or an air disaster to bring out the worst in us. So if the History Channel has abandoned the idea of showing us real historical documentaries, and is simply pan handling to the sponsors and the "slack-jawed troglodytes"- well then I freely admit to being naive, and deplore the sad decline of the History Channel.