Movie Star Megawattage Fades at Box Office

So the movie moguls in Hollywood are gobsmacked- or at least bewildered that their latest lineup of summer "blockbusters" have failed to generate much more than tepid interest at the box office. According to the New York Times, they are trying to work out why their stable of super stars, such as Julia Roberts, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell and Eddie Murphy (where did he come from anyway?) have not earned their $20 million going rates.

Even the vaunted Johnny Depp has failed to live up to expectations with Public Enemies. And apparently all eyes are now on Brad Pitt and his new Tarantino movie. I have a theory I'd like to convey to these moguls: could it be that your movies suck? Could it be that because of sites / services like Twitter, people who have been fooled into buying a ticket to such movies as Land of the Lost can communicate their mistake instantly to their friends?

One person missing from this lineup of "super stars" is Mathew "Mr. Beef Cakes / Six Pack Abs" McConoughey; the man who has set new records for conspicuous narcissism and for sending movies (best left on the cutting room floor) straight from opening night to DVD. Maybe he got the hint, and has retired to a life of self-admiration and boogie-boarding in Malibu. Let's hope so.