Movie Star Megawattage Fades at Box Office

So the movie moguls in Hollywood are gobsmacked- or at least bewildered that their latest lineup of summer "blockbusters" have failed to generate much more than tepid interest at the box office. According to the New York Times, they are trying to work out why their stable of super stars, such as Julia Roberts, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell and Eddie Murphy (where did he come from anyway?) have not earned their $20 million going rates.

Even the vaunted Johnny Depp has failed to live up to expectations with Public Enemies. And apparently all eyes are now on Brad Pitt and his new Tarantino movie. I have a theory I'd like to convey to these moguls: could it be that your movies suck? Could it be that because of sites / services like Twitter, people who have been fooled into buying a ticket to such movies as Land of the Lost can communicate their mistake instantly to their friends?

One person missing from this lineup of "super stars" is Mathew "Mr. Beef Cakes / Six Pack Abs" McConoughey; the man who has set new records for conspicuous narcissism and for sending movies (best left on the cutting room floor) straight from opening night to DVD. Maybe he got the hint, and has retired to a life of self-admiration and boogie-boarding in Malibu. Let's hope so.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

How quaint...the name for this show is so 1960's; like the scene from the Austin Powers movie where Dr. Evil wants to blackmail the US for $1 million, only to find out that a $1 isn't what it used to be when he was put into cryogenic sleep 40 years before. In keeping with my iconoclastic predilection- I just have to take a shot at this ridiculous TV show, which I readily recognize is a huge hit here in America.

So I am in the minority once again! One of the many things that drives me nuts about this show (I don't watch it; but my wife does and so, by default do I) is the soft ball questions Regis asks contestants; suspenseful theme music plays in the background as Regis asks the contestant such brain teasers as: "What Canadian city is closest to Seattle? A) Vancouver B) Toronto C) Ottawa or D) Montreal?" The contestant looks lost and confused as they search for the answer. I mean- COME ON!!!!!!

Which leads me to the second thing that I find silly about the show: the minutes that pass while the contestant agonizes over questions most 3rd graders would be able to answer. But I guess these questions on the Easy > Difficult scale are somewhere in between asking contestants to name just 1 Supreme Court justice, or our Secretary of Defense (just about impossible for most of us) and all cast members of CSI or 24 (easy as pie for most Americans).

If the producers were to make their questions any easier, they would be asking: "2 + 2 equals: A)5, B)9, C)4, D)29?" Or, "How many fingers do you have on your left hand?" And there are heaps of other questions that seem to confirm that the average American has an I.Q. somewhere between 12 and 15...or that as a country we are indeed doomed as our intellectual betters in India, China and Russia inherit the earth. The questions get harder, but not by much. The third aspect of Who Wants to be a Millionaire that is stupid is when the contestant gets to call a friend for help with answering a question.

"Happy Trails! Was the moniker of which famous American cowboy?" Again- a big "Duh!" is in order here. So just in case the dolt on the other end of the line doesn't know the answer? Well gee! Ya think he might be able to pull that off the internet while the suspenseful music is playing? If this show isn't a latter day version of the infamous Quiz Show boondoggle from the 1950's then I am a banana.